They wouldn't let us share a bed, so we shared a Coke, part 1 (originally posted on Saturday, August 12, 2008)

They wouldn’t let us share a bed, so we shared a Coke, part I Current mood:  amused  Category: Music We're going to blog the FUCK out of this BITCHES!!! yes, its liz and kathy here to blog about our trip....here is how it is going to work.... i am going type in all lower case and kathy is going to type in all caps. the following will be covered in this stunning blog entry.... -daniel radcliff's harry potter -checking into the ramada -asheville....america's tallest city -colin meloy's arms -food tease -the huddle house -meat candy....mmmm  -juicy jaw take it away kathy.... SO, HERE'S HOW I FAILED TO QUIT SMOKING, YET AGAIN. SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF APPALACHIA, MISS LIZZY-POO DECIDED TO START QUESTIONING ME ABOUT MY TEENAGE LOVES. ACTUALLY, SHE REMEMBERED A GOOD DEAL MORE THAN I DID, BUT JUST NEEDED ME TO FILL IN THE DETAILS FOR CERTAIN EVENTS THAT OCCURRED BEFORE THE TURN OF THE MILLENIUM. SO, AFTER DIGGING DEEP, AND DELIVERING THE GOODS, NOT ONLY ON ONE MR. CARROLL, AND MR. BECKER, I WAS AN EFFING WRECK. I WAS SO NERVOUS, ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS SMOKING. I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY AT FIRST, THEN SHE SAID SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT THAT TIME, AND MY STOMACH LURCHED. AND I REALIZED THAT SHE WAS CAUSING MY AGITA. SO NOW, RELIEVED OF RESPONSIBILITY, I AM SMOKING UP A STORM. WHICH IS HOW WE GOT TO THE RAMADA, AND ALMOST GOT AWAY WITH ONE KING SIZE BED FOR THE BOTH OF US...UNTIL, THAT IS, I FINISHED MY SMOKE AND WENT INSIDE AND STOOD NEXT TO LIZ AT THE CHECK-IN COUNTER. LIZ LOOKS OVER AT ME AND SAYS "I GOT A KING SIZE BED, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT. WE CAN GET A COT, IF YOU WANT. SO, THINKING BACK OVER THE 16 YEARS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP, I REALIZE THAT A COT IS NOT REALLY NECESSARY AT THIS POINT, BUT THE GIRL BEHIND THE COUNTER BECOMES REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA OF US SHARING A ROOM WITH ONLY A KING SIZED BED. SHE OFFERS TO MOVE US, AND BOTH OF US ARE LIKE, "REALLY, IT'S NO PROBLEM, WHATEVER IS EASIEST FOR YOU. WE'RE FINE." BUT APPARENTLY SHE WASN'T FINE. WHILE MISS LIZZY-POO AND I WERE BUSY LOOKING AT THE LOCAL ATTRACTION MAPS, MISS FRONT DESK WAS BUSY TRANSFERRING US TO A 2-BED DOUBLE BED ROOM. HOW NICE AND CONVENIENT. SO, WE POLITELY TOOK OUR TWO KEYS AND WENT TO CHECK INTO OUR SAFE AND HETERO-FRIENDLY HIDEAWAY. JUST TO ENSURE OUR HETERO-NESS, LIZ IMMEDIATELY PLOPPED ON 'her' BED AND TURNED ON 'THE Q.' SHOP AWAY, STRAIGHT GIRLS! ON TO THE NEXT ADVENTURE, MISS LIZZY-POO: alright, kathy-wathy...in my defense, the boy-toy memory lane is simply revenge for..."if you don't drink this glass of gin, i won't your friend" and liz throwing up under a tree at your college graduation revenge....you deserve it madam. SO, BEFORE WE GET TO THE CONCERT HALL, MISS LIZZIE-POO STOPS AT A GAS STATION SO I CAN PICK UP A LIGHTER FOR MY NEWFOUND CIGARETTE ADDICTION, AND I SAY, "OH, THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE WONDER THAT IS COCA-COLA ZERO CHERRY" AND MISS LIZZIE-POO SAYS, WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE IT? AND I SAY, WELL, I'LL GET ONE FOR ME, AND YOU CAN TASTE IT. IF WE CAN'T SHARE A BED, AT LEAST WE CAN SHARE A COKE. AND MISS LIZZIE POO MANAGES TO PULL INTO THE GAS STATION WITHOUT CAUSING AN ACCIDENT, DESPITE HER BODY-CONVULSING LAUGHTER. SO, I PICK UP THE NEW TASTY BEVERAGE, AND SHE SAYS, "THAT'S PRETTY GOOD." COCA-COLA ZERO CHERRY? CASE CLOSED. so, we get to the concert hall and i start to look around. everyone is super tall. i asked kathy if it is because i am used to hanging around with short orange people or is everyone in the hall really super tall. kathy replied that yes, i am used to short orange people but that everyone was oddly tall....let me tell you this, they had no qualms of standing in front of the 5"3' girl. OK, I WILL BACK HER UP. I AM 5'8", AND EVERYONE WAS AT LEAST MY HEIGHT, IF NOT TALLER. I HAVE NOT SEEN A HEALTHIER BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. IT WAS LIKE AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR MILK. EXCEPT, MOST OF THIS CROWD WERE PROBABLY VEGANS. WHICH MADE THE SUBSEQUENT MEAT CANDY ALL THE SWEETER. BUT I DIGRESS. MY JOB IS TO TELL YOU ABOUT COLIN MELOY'S ARMS. MMMMM. THEY WERE yummy. I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS BECAUSE ALL I COULD SEE OVER THE "TALLIES'" HEADS WAS HIS TORSO AND ABOVE, OR IF IT IS BECAUSE HE IS SO RIPPED FROM AVIDLY PLAYING THE GUITAR, BUT MAN O MAN, HE HAS GOT SOME SWEET, RIPPLING ARMS. DON'T GET ME WRONG HERE, HE'S NO VIN DIESEL, AND DEFINITELY NO THE ROCK, BUT HE WAS LIKE, STRINGY-MUSCULAR. INDIE-ROCK-HIPSTER-RIPPLED-ARM MUSCLES. MMMM. AND THE BEST PART? AFTER THE SHOW, I LOOK OVER AT LIZ, WHO HAD SEEMED OH SO ENGROSSED IN "THE MUSIC" FOR THE WHOLE SHOW, AND I SAID, "GOD HIS ARMS WERE HOT." AND MISS LIZZIE-POO SAID, "I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING!" DAMN, THEY WERE GREAT ARMS. ALMOST ENOUGH THAT I WOULD CONSIDER GOING TO A HIPSTER HANGOUT LIKE WILLIAMSBURG, JUST TO MEET ANOTHER PAIR OF ARMS LIKE THAT. TAKE IT AWAY, LIZ. kathy-wathy loves the musle men....i on the other hand like the nerdy-glasses wearing bookish boys. and yes oh yes those arms were yummy. i guess we found our middle ground. too bad we didn't have that king sized bed and colin. he could leave his 2 year old with his traveling band mate. kathy was also into his ever so chiseled jaw line. i have to admit, it's not bad. colin reminds me why glasses are sexy and made me rethink a little my lasik surgery. plus, kathy and i were just talking about how much we want to make out with his vocabulary. i also have to let you know that i could see his well worn baggy jeans and they didn't look all that bad either. i have a lower view point than kathy you know. i wouldn't let kathy eat before the concert, and we were friggen' hungry afterward, let me tell you. asheville is a fucking food tease. we drove around looking for a restaurant we kept finding places w/ signs that looked like food places and they would end up being hardware stores or wilco gas stations. this town is such a "food tease" we resorted to eating @ tgi friday's and we both didn't want that. any-who.....we ended up at tgi friday's and i ordered jack daniel's chicken strips....kathy tried some and said...."these chicken strips are like meat candy, like colin meloy's biceps."......those baby's are effing meat candy....did we mention how hot colin meloy is?.... tune in tomorrow for part two w/ pictures......